Poopy Water

I saved this email that I received more than a year ago.  I was clearing out another computer inbox yesterday and found it.  It must be shared.

Email subject line:

"Cause Identified for Diarrhea Outbreak;

Source Still Pending"

I know, you must know more. Here's the back story.

Last summer, there was a bit of a problem at the local swimming pool.  Dozens and dozens of people were getting sick.  Real sick. That can't leave the bathroom kind of sick.  (They got the runs. Bad.)

After a few days, the county health department alerted the media about the *situation*.

The cause:  Someone had dropped a deuce in the pool....a big one. And swimmers/victims, with mouths wide open, not knowing someone else was using the pool as a toilet that day, had swallowed some of the good stuff.

    

The problem (other than the fact that someone %&*# in the pool?): the health department sleuths couldn't identify the "source" of the outbreak.  Translation: no one *shockingly* stepped forward and said "Hey, that was my poop."

So in an effort to prevent this *situation* from happening again, the health department included some helpful tips in the same email and asked the media to share them with viewers. They included the following (I $#*& you not.)

"prohibit pool staff with diarrhea from entering pool..."

"owners of private pools should discourage use of the pool

 by those who have diarrhea..."

The email closes with the following statement:

"If you have diarrhea...

protect others by not swimming."

Noted.