The Wheel Of Death

The FDA ordered a HUGE recall the other day.  The specifics of it all are boring, but the bottom line: prepackaged foods with preservatives were all in question because of some salmonella poisoning.

My first thought: whatever.  That surely doesn't apply to ME. Because, just like other situations when you hear reporters *warn* of dire circumstances like "SAVE YOURSELF, DON'T DRIVE ON THE ICY ROADS YOU WILL DIE"... or..."FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE...THIS WILL GUARANTEE A QUICK AND SPEEDY DEATH"....   I'll spot you the money in Vegas to bet that within 5 minutes of that live shot, that reporter is driving on the icy roads while texting (and eating a bowl of cereal, as was the case in my car last week). 

Do as we say, not as we do.

So... back to the nasty (but oh so tasty) prepackaged food recall.

My first reaction, that nationwide massive recall wasn't intended for my ears.

And then, I thought of the wheel of death.  The last resort... the risk immediate death and at the very least slow cancer growth if you eat from it... wheel of death.

It's the prepackaged food vending machine next to the stanky fridge in the break room.

It has such unidentifiable delectable choices as the *turkey bacon cheese slider* and *ham wrap*... with questionable expiration dates and definitions of *meat* that may be up for interpretation.

In the spirit of full disclosure (I did already tell you I consume bowls of cereal while driving in rush hour traffic ... what do I have to lose?) I have eaten from the wheel of death before and actually lived to tell about it.

So ... that is why I'm thinking twice tonight before diving into that mouth watering Mexican cheesy burrito delight.